“With” God or “For” God?


It might not seem like that big of a difference. Two words: “with” or “for.”

But they have made a world of difference to me.

It’s love-based relationship and communion vs. fear-based enslavement or servitude. If I do something “with” God, through God, in God—then God is here. God is participating. Present. If I do something “for” God, who knows where God is? Maybe a ways off watching. I’m alone. I’m alone and trying to impress God like the stereotypical woman who will do anything to get a man’s attention so that he will “love her.”

I know which one sounds like more fun.

We were talking. Yes, God and I talk. Some people call it prayer.

We were conversing on this very subject. I was feeling a bit depressed because I had this paradigm—that in many ways I am still learning to let go of—that says that I still somehow have to earn God’s approval. Who knows how many times I have had that crap thrown at me. Well, God was reminding me that’s a bunch of bull. Well, actually, below bull. There’s not exactly a proper swear word in the human dictionary to express how disgusting that idea is.

Do you think that I make crap? You (humanity) worship  Me. You (humanity) sing songs to Me, proclaiming how great I am. How wonderful I am. How perfect I am. You (humanity) then proceed to proclaim yourselves worthless little sinners unworthy of My love and grace. 

Dear ones, you’ve loss it. You’ve completely gone bonkers. I say that with the utmost affection. But your brain is as good as on crack when you believe this type of stuff about yourselves. I made you. I do not make bull-crap. (Well, unless you are literally talking about the stuff that comes out of a bull’s rear end—which is actually natural, not evil. Y’all just don’t a grid for a proper insult for the lies your have been fed.) I love you. You are precious. You can’t make Me love you any more or any less. Stop speaking smack about yourselves, and quit attributing that opinion to Me, as well.

That was the gist of what I heard. One little blurb in an endless, glorious stream of conversation.

So, “with God” or “for God”? Which God are you talking about? Can a good God be loving and hateful at the same time? Talk abusively and affectionately simultaneously to creation? Can God be omnipresent yet distant? (I am familiar with the concept of transcendence, but I don’t think that’s what it’s getting at.)

“With God” or “for God”? When you are really, truly in love, you do as an expression of that. You don’t have to be told “you must serve”—“you must obey.” All of your heart is consumed with lavishing affection on your beloved—your beloved who is present, not distant.

When such things are demanded, often the result is either rebellion or crushed spirit. Neither is God’s heart for humanity.



Hello, Again!


It’s been a while since I last wrote on here. I thought I would pop in again and say “hello”!

Life has continued to be one wacky learning adventure. My paradigm has been shifted once more—and I suspect that’s going to be something that keeps happening.

I wanted to talk about the joys I have discovered in learning today. You see, if you start off knowing everything (in the know-it-all-sense), it’s a bit of a bummer. What’s there to discover? What’s there to find? You can tout your knowledge, go about feeling all superior to the ignorant masses, and wind up miserable and lonely with no real, genuine relationships. But at least you’re better than everyone else? Right? Am I right?

What happens when you fail? You find out that you’re not as smart as you thought? (At least according to one of the many arbitrarily-made human standards out there!) Boom. There goes your value as a human being, you worthless little ignoramus.

I know what it is like to experience the pressure to perform like a circus-monkey. To please people. To “have it all together.” “Make a good impression.” To appeal and appease. To avoid making any single wrong move that someone could call you out on and thereby degrade your value as a person.

That’s all pure hell.

I’m going to know what I know when I know it. I may not always be “right.” I may not always be “correct.” I may even make typos. Misspell stuff because my brain feels sleepy. I may royally fall on my face a couple of times. But I am alive. I am learning. I exist. It’s a wonder; that’s what it is!

All this to say, you jolly people, you have permission to BE! Learn! Love! Have epic adventures, precious ones! And don’t be afraid of making mistakes.